South Park—Season 13

8.0 Overall Score
Story: 8/10
Acting: 8/10
Visuals: 8/10

The Coon, Fishsticks, Margaritaville, Dead Celebrities, Butters' Bottom Bitch

Dances with Smurfs, Whale Whores, Eat Pray Queef


“Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine!”

Kyle, Cartman, Stan, and Kenny are back and bringing all their friends.  Now they are dealing with purity rings, the economy, aliens, pirates, prostitution, whaling, and pool urination.  They face a battle of the sexes in farts versus queefs, and the appearance of two new superheroes…the Coon and Mysterion.

South Park—Season 13 ran from March 11, 2009 to November 18, 2009 on Comedy Central.  The season received mixed reviews but the episode “Margaritaville” on the economy was nominated for a Primetime Emmy for Outstanding Animated Program Less than One Hour which it won.


Mickey…is this because everyone likes Donald Duck more?

The season has some great episodes including the introduction of Cartman’s alter ego the Coon and anything that mocks Kanye West is good.  “Dead Celebrities” at the time it was made contained the classic tasteless South Park way of managing to make fun of recently dead celebrities (and send them to Hell), and I always enjoy a good Butters’ episode like “Butters’ Bottom Bitch”.

The weird thing about South Park is that even some of the weaker episodes still have a funny “B-Story”.  This season isn’t as strong as some of the surrounding seasons, but it is still better than many of the comedies on television.  It is amazing how far South Park has come from the first so-so season.

South Park continues to impress in Season 13.  It might not be the strongest season, but fans of the series (even fair-weather fans) will enjoy many of the episodes.  So stick with South Park…If you don’t like one episode, you’ll probably like the next.

South Park—Season 13 Complete Episode Guide:


“The Ring”

13.1     The Ring Airdate:  03/11/09

Kenny’s got a new girlfriend, but rumors indicate that she’s promiscuous.  Kenny learns that  Tammy Warner’s a fan of the Jonas Brothers, but his plans to score at the concert backfires when Kenny’s girlfriend learns about purity rings from the band.  When Cartman, Kyle, and Stan try to get Kenny back from the world of purity rings, they face off against Mickey Mouse.


“The Coon”

13.2     The Coon Airdate:  03/18/09

Cartman is working the night shift as the Coon and out to clean South Park up.  When the Coon finds a rival in Mysterion, Cartman sets out to find the identity of Mysterion to stop him from stealing his publicity.  With Mysterion gaining popularity, the Coon is forced to turn to Chaos and General Disarray for help to stop him.



13.3     Margaritaville Airdate:  03/25/09

Recession has hit South Park.  When Randy puts his theory of why the economy has fallen, he finds a following.  Randy encourages everyone to give up needless spending and finds debating sacrificing Kyle when Kyle defends the economy.  Stanley works to return a Margaritaville machine and finds himself involved in investment hell.  To save South Park, Kyle might have to make the ultimate sacrifice.


Eat, Pray, Queef

13.4     Eat, Pray, Queef Airdate:  04/01/09

The boys are upset when a Terrance and Phillip special is covered by a Queef Sisters special.  When the boys try to complain, the women of town don’t understand why farts are funny and queefs are not.  Terrance and Phillip find new love with the Queef Sisters.



13.5     Fishsticks Airdate:  04/08/09

Jimmy and Cartman are forced to hang out and work on a new joke.  When Eric asks for fishsticks, Jimmy realizes he might have discovered the perfect joke.  As the joke spreads around the world, Cartman tries to get paid for it.  When Kanye West appears to be the only one who doesn’t get it, Kanye targets the creators.


“Pinewood Derby”

13.6     Pinewood Derby Airdate:  04/15/09

It is Pinewood Derby time, and Randy is determined that Stanley will win.  When Randy steals a special nuclear particle for Stanley’s car, records are set as time and space are bent.  McGee-zax discover the derby car and head to Earth with demands that Randy recreate the ship while only using the parts in the pinewood derby kit.  When the alien’s treasure is discovered, the world must come together to lie to the intergalactic police searching for the stolen goods.



13.7     Fatbeard Airdate:  04/22/09

Cartman learns that pirates are alive and well in Somalia and decides to join their ranks.  When Clyde, Ike, Butters, and Kevin follow him to Somalia, they unknowingly become prisoners of the pirates.  Cartman takes control of the pirates and finds Kyle coming to him when he tries to get Ike back.


“Dead Celebrities”

13.8     Dead Celebrities Airdate:  10/07/09

Ike is menaced by dead celebrities, and Ghost Hunters come to investigate Ike’s claims.  When the children learn Ike’s visions are real, they have to try to convince the spirits to move on.  When Michael Jackson takes control of Ike, the kids must find a way to save Ike.


“Butters’ Bottom Bitch”

13.9     Butters’ Bottom Bitch Airdate:  10/14/09

Butters gets his first kiss by paying for it and begins managing Sally to help others get kisses.  When Butters and Sally realize they can expand, the police decide they need to set up a sting operation.  Butters realizes he needs to work on his management skills and goes to the pimp convention.  As Butters’ company grows, the police get closer to the big bust.



13.10   W.T.F. Airdate:  10/21/09

The kids go to a WWE event and decide to join wrestling at school.  When they find professional wrestling and real wrestling is different, they decide to start their own wrestling organization.  As the W.T.F. gains popularity, the WWE agrees to see the performance.


“Whale Whores”

13.11   Whale Whores Airdate:  10/28/09

Japanese break into SeaWorld during Stan’s birthday and slaughter all the whales and dolphins.  Stan finds none of his friends want to help whales and joins Whale Wars to try to save the whales.  When Stan finds Whale Wars is too passive, he begins killing to protect the whales.  As Real Whale Wars gains popularity, he finds himself battling The Deadliest Catch.


“The F Word”

13.12   The F Word Airdate:  11/04/09

South Park is overrun with Harley riders.  When the kids label them “fags”, the kids are attacked by the town for being intolerant.  When the kids explain that “fags” aren’t homosexuals, a push is made to change the definition of the word in the dictionary.


“Dances with Smurfs”

13.13   Dances with Smurfs Airdate:  11/11/09

When Gordon Stoltski is killed during the morning announcement, Cartman gets the job to replace him.  Cartman uses the morning announcement to wage a war against Wendy Testaburger.  Cartman accuses Wendy of hating Smurfs, and he tries to turn the school against her.



13.14   Pee Airdate:  11/18/09

The kids go to the water park, but Cartman finds Pi Pi’s Splashtown has too many minorities.  Kyle finds people are peeing in the pool, and the crisis reaches breaking point when the pee levels rise too high.  Kyle finds he might have to face his fear of swimming in pee, and Cartman realizes he might be living in the post-Apocalypse where he is the minority.

Preceded By:

South Park—Season 12 Review and Complete Episode Guide

Followed By:

South Park—Season 14 Review and Complete Episode Guide

Author: JPRoscoe View all posts by
Follow me on Twitter/Instagram/Letterboxd @JPRoscoe76! Loves all things pop-culture especially if it has a bit of a counter-culture twist. Plays video games (basically from the start when a neighbor brought home an Atari 2600), comic loving (for almost 30 years), and a true critic of movies. Enjoys the art house but also isn't afraid to let in one or two popular movies at the same time.

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