Tales from the Crypt—Season 7

6.0 Overall Score
Story: 6/10
Acting: 7/10
Visuals: 7/10

Love anthologies

Weakest season, feels played out

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The Crypt Keeper is going where no Crypt Keeper has gone before!

The Crypt Keeper is back…and he’s bringing the last of his tales.  Be it greedy family members, cursed monkey paws, zombies, vampires, kidnapped babies, or even the Big Bad Wolf, the Crypt Keeper is out to send chills down the spine of those who hear them.

Tales from the Crypt—Season 7 aired from April 19, 1996 to July 19, 1996 on HBO and ended the seven year run of the award winning show.  The series continues its trend to adapting the classic EC Comics with stories from Tales from the Crypt, Vault of Horror, Shock SuspenStories, and Haunt of Fear, but the season also contains an original story in “The Third Pig” which served as the series’ finale.

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One of the few star turns this season with Natasha Richardson and Bob Hoskins

I love anthology shows and I love horror.  I have seen all of Tales from the Crypt, and it has been a really fun ride…but it feels like it is out of ideas here.  The stories presented in Tales from the Crypt—Season 7 just lack the pep, energy, and fun of the earlier seasons.

The stories really didn’t have that extra pop that they needed to have fun.  One nice thing about anthologies is that if you see one story and don’t like it, you can count on probably liking the next story…with this season however, the good stories are few and far between.

The series used to have a lot of star power.  Here there are a few actors before their prime and a few that are later in their popularity.  The show really needed some star power and directors to make this season work.

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There’s never anything good in the fridge

I do give the series credit for always trying something different.  Though I didn’t love it, I thought a cartoon version of the story was clever with the original telling of “The Three Little Pigs”.  Once again, it was poorly timed and I really wish that the series had gone out with a bigger bang.  Movies released since the series ended however do have some more bang, but a good series like this should have been given a better send-off.

It isn’t that the stories are awful, but they just miss being fun.  The cast still has some star power and up-and-comers (like Ewan McGregor and Steve Coogan), but it isn’t pulling in the big names and directors that the series did at the beginning of its run.  Though I loved my weekly visit with the Crypt Keeper, it was time for the crypt to be closed.

Tales from the Crypt—Season 7 Complete Episode Guide:

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“Fatal Caper”

7.1       Fatal Caper Airdate:  04/19/96

Lord Mycroft Amberson (Leslie Phillips) has decided to change his will at the encouragement of Redmond (Bob Hoskins).  With a new will written by Fiona Havisham (Natasha Richardson), the greedy children Evelyn (James Saxon) and Justin (Greg Wise) learn that they have to find their missing brother.  As Evelyn and Justin plot against each other, the quest for the inheritance could become deadly.  Adapts Tales from the Crypt #20.

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“Last Respects”

7.2       Last Respects Airdate:  04/26/96

Three sisters (Emma Samms, Kerry Fox, and Julie Cox) discover a monkey paw in their father’s antique store.  With the realization that the three wishes comes with a curse, the sisters must find a way to wish carefully…but greed sometimes trumps blood.  Adapts Tales from the Crypt #23.

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“A Slight Case of Murder”

7.3       A Slight Case of Murder Airdate:  05/03/96

Sharon Bannister (Francesca Annis) is a mystery writer whose estranged husband Larry (Christopher Cazenove) has different plans for their divorce which include murder.  As Larry tries to get rid of Sharon, he must avoid Sharon’s nosy neighbor Mrs. Trask (Elizabeth Spring) and her son Joey (Patrick Barlow)…but who is really pulling the strings?  Adapts Vault of Horror #33.

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“Escape”

7.4       Escape Airdate:  05/17/96

Lieutenant Luger (Martin Kemp) is a traitor to his fellow Nazis during World War II.  When Luger is captured and imprisoned with other Nazis, one of the men threatens to expose Luger’s true loyalties…unless Luger silences him first.  Adapts Vault of Horror #16.

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“Horror in the Night”

7.5       Horror in the Night Airdate:  05/24/96

Nick Marvin (James Wilby) is shot in jewel robbery double cross by T (Ronan Vibert).  Escaping with the jewels, Nick plans to hide out in a hotel room until the coast is clear.  With his wound treated by a mysterious woman (Elizabeth McGovern), Nick begins to suffer increasingly worse hallucinations.  Adapts Vault of Horror #12.

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“Cold War”

7.6       Cold War Airdate:  05/31/96

Outlaws Ford (Ewan McGregor) and Cammy (Jane Horrocks) are having another spat.  When Cammy brings home another wanted man named Jimmy Picket (Colin Salmon) to make Ford jealous, all three criminals secrets will be revealed.  Adapts Tales from the Crypt #43.

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“The Kidnapper”

7.7       The Kidnapper Airdate:  06/07/96

Danny Skeggs (Steve Coogan) wishes his marriage was back to how it was before the baby came.  When he arranges a kidnapping, Danny finds he needs to get the baby back…or at least replace it.  Adapts Shock SuspenStories #12.

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“Report from the Grave”

7.8       Report from the Grave Airdate:  06/14/96

A scientist named Elliot (James Frain) works to tap into the memories of the dead and accidentally kills his girlfriend Arianne (Siobhan Flynn) when they look into the mind of a serial killer.  Driven insane, Elliot seeks to see where he went wrong with his experiment.  Adapts Vault of Horror #15.

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“Smoke Wrings”

7.9       Smoke Wrings Airdate:  06/21/96

Barry (Daniel Craig) has decided to get into advertising despite any experience.  What Barry has going for him is a device which forces people to want to give in to their fears and desires in order to sell things, and he’s secretly part of a revenge plot against the company’s owner…but advertising can be deadly.  Adapts Vault of Horror #34.

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“About Face”

7.10     About Face Airdate:  06/28/96

A minister named Jonathan (Anthony Andrews) who has a taste for his young female employees finds himself in trouble when Angelica (Anna Friel) shows up to reveal that she and her twin sister Leah are a result of one his mistakes.  When Angelica and Leah move in with Jonathan and his wife Sarah (Imelda Staunton), Jonathan finds Leah might not be as kind as her sister.  Adapts Haunt of Fear #27.

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“The Confession”

7.11     Confession Airdate:  07/05/96

When first born children are being killed, a skilled profiler named Jack Lynch (Ciarán Hinds) brings in a former Tales from the Crypt writer named Evans (Eddie Izzard) for questioning.  As Evans tries to turn the tables on Jack, the truth might come out!  Adapts Shock SuspenStories #4.

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“Ear Today…Gone Tomorrow”

7.12     Ear Today…Gone Tomorrow Airdate:  07/12/96

A failed thief and gambler named Glynn Fennell (Robert Lindsay) is given a second chance by Malcolm Lawson (Richard Johnson) to whom he owes money at the request of his wife Kate (Gretchen Palmer).  When Kate contacts Glynn to rob Malcolm, Glynn undergoes an experimental operation to give him the hearing ability of owls to crack the safe.  Adapts Haunt of Fear #11.

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“The Third Pig”

7.13     The Third Pig Airdate:  07/19/96

The pigs Drinky and Smokey move in with Dudley when their house is destroyed by the Big Bad Wolf, but when Drinky and Smokey are murdered by the Wolf, Dudley finds himself trying to defend himself and seeks out a means to avenge his brothers.

Related Links:

Tales from the Crypt—Season 1 Review and Complete Episode Guide

Tales from the Crypt—Season 2 Review and Complete Episode Guide

Tales from the Crypt—Season 3 Review and Complete Episode Guide

Tales from the Crypt—Season 4 Review and Complete Episode Guide

Tales from the Crypt—Season 5 Review and Complete Episode Guide

Tales from the Crypt—Season 6 Review and Complete Episode Guide

Tales from the Crypt (1972)

The Vault of Horror (1973)

Author: JPRoscoe View all posts by
Follow me on Twitter @JPRoscoe76! Loves all things pop-culture especially if it has a bit of a counter-culture twist. Plays video games (basically from the start when a neighbor brought home an Atari 2600), comic loving (for almost 30 years), and a true critic of movies. Enjoys the art house but also isn't afraid to let in one or two popular movies at the same time.

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