Live on an island…it will be relaxing they tell you. Just wait until you meet all your fun new neighbors, hang out, and chill. Then you get to your new island…and you discover that the villagers of Animal Crossing are some of the worst people on the planet.
I don’t mean that they are killers or anything, but at least a killer is doing something. As you move around the island, trying to make it the best island you can, they just hang out, sing, and even ask you to buy the junk they don’t want anymore. This is despite the fact that you are paying for their lifestyle. You pay for the bridges and inclines, you pay for the decorations. They might contribute a few bells, but it is really up to you to get the island going…and you don’t even get credit for it.
The ringleader of the evil villagers is Tom Nook. He claims to want all these things for the island, yet he charges you every Bell he can for it. “You need to build a bridge” or “You need to start terraforming the land so everyone’s lazy butts can go places on the island. Yet, he’s not willing to pay or help you rally the people to even shake a tree so they can build their own ladder or vaulting pole. He has also invented an arbitrary “Nook Mile” currency that forces you to submit to his monopoly of the island (you even have to pay for the land for the new people for “Tom’s Island”). This all to realize his dream of getting a KK Slider concert…not your goal of creating a peaceful place for a retreat from the world. Don’t even get me started on Isabelle who pretends to work with Tom all day…you know they are getting it on as soon as you step out the door.
In addition to Tom Nook, you get his dirty little nephews Timmy and Tommy. The two are the worst business men around. They offer to sell you fruit which grows all over the island for a steep price while they also are willing to pay money for weeds and other crap you pull out of the oceans and rivers. A pristine fossil of a long extinct beast? Here’s a couple thousand bells…ooo sell me that red snapper for four thousand. Who is funding their purchases? No one except you seems to buy or sell anything at the store thought they are constantly browsing. I love undercutting the two by talking to visiting sellers. It would only be better if I could sell to them right in front of them.
The game is an environmental wreck. You bring non-native species to the island, and you also go to other islands and just ravage them for your enjoyment. You are encouraged to scrape the island bare…because you’re never going back there (forget someone else wanting to set up an island paradise…only Nook rules). You are encouraged to drop trash, and feel free to throw a saltwater fish in freshwater or vice-versa…might as well if you aren’t selling it for a profit. Fortunately you are being paid to over-fish the oceans and rivers…and money is all that matters. The rivers and lakes are full of tires…and there aren’t even cars. This means someone just decided to bring a tire to the island and chuck it in the pristine water (I know that fish can sometimes co-op things like tires for nesting, but the villagers don’t think that deep).
Animal Crossing might look cute and cuddly on the surface, but there is a dark underbelly. It is loaded with evil, slothful people whose only goal is turn a peaceful island into a jacked up Disney World which must closer resembles a Branson, Missouri to make them happy. Junk up an island paradise and filled with stuff to get a 5-Star rating. Cut those trees down to build a giant robot fighting Godzilla, it’s all good as long no one else has to do anything and the Nooks get to line their pockets…welcome to New Horizons.
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